Missoula Is Being Taken Over By Bears

I hope this post doesn't alarm anyone living in Missoula, but it has come to my attention that our town is being taken over by bears.

Oh sure, it starts with a few bear sightings over a couple of months - apparently Fish, Wildlife, and Parks has received 25 bear sightings in the Rattlesnake area of Missoula throughout September and October - but pretty soon, all humans will be gone, and bears will eat our food, take our jobs, drive our cars, and just in general run the world. I can see the writing on the wall. It's not a question of it, but when.

Look, humans had a good run. Well, a mostly good run. Well, there were a few good parts in there. I mean, we did make Terminator 2, after all. That movie rules.

But, I for one welcome our new bear overlords, and remind them that I've been a huge proponent of all kinds of bears, from grizzlies to Chicago's.

However, if you're someone who's trying to prevent the inevitable onslaught of the bears, you may want to try and contain your garbage and maintain your fruit trees so that bears can't get to them. I'd also recommend keeping an eye on your pic-a-nic baskets, just to be safe.

Is it possible that I'm jumping the gun a bit and exaggerating what our new bear-shaped world will be like? I suppose. But if 2020 has taught us anything, it's to prepare for every possibility.

Incidentally, this is what I'm pretty sure Missoula will look like by next year.