Each story is unique in its own way, which makes it so hard for us to decide who should win the "Moron of Montana" Award. Perhaps you can help us? Take a quick look through each headline and story, then comment on which article deserves the honors.

[DISCLAIMER] Oh, and if by chance you are the person who's featured in the headlines, sorry. We didn't write these stories. Someone hundreds of miles away in a show prep think tank (who's tank is securely locked and has motion cameras all around it) published these for radio stations across the nation, not just for us. But we were nice enough to at least take the names out of the articles. So yeah, be gentle on us, and go after that one person instead. The one with mace cans and mean dogs. Go easy on him too.



Suspect Flashes Cops, Their TASERs Flash Back

A robbery suspect with a long rap sheet and a warrant out for his arrest took matters -- and his privates -- into his own hands during a brief stand-off with Montana cops. The Daily Interlake reports that a 26-year-old and an alleged robbery accomplice were cornered by cops Tuesday evening and ordered out of a car at gunpoint.

The first suspect complied with the officers. So did the suspect, but only after taking off all of his clothes, mooning the police and "grabbing his genitals and shaking them" at the cops, while ordering them to shoot him.

They did, but with their TASERs, dropping the first suspect on the spot and taking him into custody. Both suspects face felony robbery and other charges.


Cops: Drug Suspect Busted for Getting Dog Drunk

A 49-year-old man in Helena, Montana is accused of getting his dog severely drunk on purpose. No motive is known for why the man allegedly decided to supply the Pomeranian mix with vodka in a sippy cup from Smith’s Bar, but the 20-pound dog was later found to have a blood alcohol level nearly four times the human legal limit, according to the Billings Gazette.

When patrons saw Arly II, who could barely stand, they called the cops on the man. He was arrested at another location on animal cruelty charges, and also for drug possession, after officers allegedly found a bag of hydrocodone pills where the suspect had been standing.

Arly II has since recovered, but is spending time at a local humane society while the suspect remains in the county lockup.


Driver Instigates Police Chase to See What It's Like

A Butte, Montana, man who initiated a police chase just to see what it would be like, now knows what it's like to be $1,000 poorer, reports The Montana Standard.

Authorities say 55-year-old man deliberately instigated a chase around 3:30 a.m. last Thursday and reached speeds of more than 100 miles-per-hour before police managed to stop him by deflating his tires with stop sticks placed on the roadway.

According to the police report, the man was sober and had no drugs or contraband on him or in his car. When asked why he started the high-speed chase, the suspect replied, “I just always wanted to do that.”

He pleaded guilty to misdemeanor reckless driving while eluding a police officer and was fined $1,000.


Man Shoots Self to Get Pain Relief

A Montana man took matters into his own hands when he was denied painkillers at a hospital: he pulled out a gun and intentionally shot himself, ironically, to get some pain relief. According to The Miles City Star, the man was seeking treatment for back pain, but was denied medication. That's when, police say, he left the building, fetched a gun from his car, and shot himself in the ankle -- causing security to put the hospital on lockdown.

The as-yet-unidentified man was treated and sent to another hospital. Cops are deciding whether he should be charged with negligence and endangerment for firing a gun near other people.


Driver Tries Using Cheetos to Cover Up Alcohol-Scented Breath

A man in Montana tried cheating his way out of a DUI by shoving his face full of Cheetos. KTVQ.com reports that a police officer caught a driver speeding down a highway and followed him to a truck stop. Inside, the officer spotted the suspect at the counter with red, puffy eyes, in the process of purchasing some Cheetos. As the officer questioned him, the man continuously shoved Cheetos into his mouth, apparently hoping to cover up the smell of alcohol on his breath. He was eventually arrested for being uncooperative and failed a breathalyzer test in jail.

(Source of articles: ABCPrep)