Quiz: How “Zoo” Are You?
Sure, when people ask us where we’re from, we all say Missoula. But some of us are just a little more Zootastic than others. Take this quiz to find out where you fall along the Missoula spectrum.
1. When you approach a crosswalk, you:
a. Look both ways before crossing.
b. Take two steps into the street, then look both ways before crossing.
c. Revel in the adrenaline you get from sprinting across traffic.
d. Walk right into the road without a second glance. (What? They’ll stop.)
2. You’ve been to the Good Food Store:
a. Once, to buy some obscure spice that you needed for the meal you were cooking to impress your special lady/man friend.
b. A few times, to stock up when your vegan cousin comes to town.
c. Good Food Store? Where is that in relation to Super Walmart?
d. Every week since you’ve lived here.
3. Snowbowl is:
a. A good place to get some exercise on the weekends.
b. Worth ditching work a few times during the winter, if the snow is good.
c. A Hostess product.
d. Where you live in the wintertime. Seriously, you have a sleeping bag in the lift operation booth.
4. What kind of dog do you have?
a. Actually, I’m more of a cat person.
b. A yellow lab.
c. A bloodhound.
d. An Australian shepherd.
5. Your refrigerator is stocked with:
a. A case of Bud Light Lime.
b. A sixer of Moose Drool.
c. A pair of PBR tall boys.
d. A growler full of Cold Smoke.
6. On four of the last five days, you’ve:
a. Driven to work. In a car.
b. Had coffee at Liquid Planet.
c. Listened to a Hank Williams song.
d. Eaten a burrito for at least one meal.
7. What really gets your panties in a bunch?
a. People who don’t know how to make left turns into traffic.
b. Getting stuck behind the lady who’s ordering lunch for her whole office at Pita Pit.
c. The word “panties.”
d. Watching someone not recycle.
If you answered with…
Mostly A’s: You’re Mildly Missoulian. You love life in the Garden City, but you’d fit in just as easily on the outside. And luckily, unlike your hardcore-Missoula counterparts, you’re aware of proper crosswalk procedure — which might come in handy if you ever decide to relocate.
Mostly B’s: You’re Mostly Missoulian. You’re content to call Zoo Town home, and life in any other place would be a considerable adjustment, but it wouldn’t be totally impossible. As long as you have a ski hill and a funky local coffee joint, you’ll be OK.
Mostly C’s: You’re a Montana Missoulian. You probably came here from another town in Montana, completely unaware of the culture shock you were about to experience. They don’t make those “Keep Missoula Weird” bumper stickers for nothing — when it comes to the Treasure State, Missoula is kind of an oddity.
Mostly D’s: You’re a Mondo Missoulian. If ever there was a match made in heaven, it was you and the Zoo. Where else can you eat at a different burrito shop every day of the week — without having to use motor transportation (and thus release harmful pollutants into the Earth’s atmosphere)?
Brooke is a 2010 graduate of The University of Montana, where she ran track and cross country for the Grizzlies. She is currently working as a writer and editor in Missoula.