Let's say, metaphorically speaking, that the state of Montana was like a person in a bar. What kind of person or people would our bar be described as? This is entirely too accurate, you can argue it all you want.

A website known as Tickld wrote up some hilarious definitions of each state in America as if they were actual bar patrons, and before we share how they painted a picture of our state let's see how they described our neighboring states:

Washington is a pale girl, very quiet and reluctant to be friendly to anyone except Oregon. She has glasses and a couple books, and isn't drinking because she's enjoying a cup of coffee she got from her favorite place on the way here. She loves hiking with her boyfriend and watching indie movies and documentaries on Netflix. She suddenly yells at New Jersey for throwing a napkin on the floor and not in the correct recycling bin.

 

Moving next door to the Gem State:

Idaho is drinking Keystone Light and pretending they are part of the South.

 

Too true. Too true. You ready for us? Brace yourself...

Montana has to be two different people. Eastern Montana is a cowboy drinking Budweiser and gets into a fight with Wyoming over sheep vs. cattle, but this happens every week and they make up afterwards. Western Montana, on the other hand, is a hipster/hippie throwback with dreadlocks who drinks craft beer or PBR and absolutely reeks of marijuana.

 

Hell yes. Sorry, deny all you want, but this is one of those moments where the writer of this satire article walks off the stage after saying "boom" and drops the mic.

Oh, but wait, there's more. Check out the rest of the states descriptions here.

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