I need your help, I'm drawing a blank on this one. In fact, reading this email actually got me riled up a bit. Read on...

I’ve been with Jeff for 6 months and I like him so much. We get along great and, I think, in some ways, we could be soul mates.

The problem is this – this is the longest I’ve ever been in a monogamous relationship. And as into Jeff as I am, I don’t think it’s fair that I should have to stop sleeping with other people.

I don’t know how to bring this up to him without him thinking I want to break up. I don’t. But I don’t believe people are meant to be with just one person, so I want to continue my relationship with him while having relations with others.

How in the heck to I bring this up??
Sara

 

Like I said in the beginning of this blog, I'm drawing a blank on how to respond. I want to be open minded and offer Sara sound advice, but the problem is I don't get it. I don't understand how someone could say they like someone (she even says he could be her soul mate), yet want to sleep with someone else. What?!? Are you kidding me? If I found the one I thought was my soul mate, the last thing I'd want is to sleep with someone else. A thousand negative thoughts come to mind and I can't find any way to put a positive spin on this. Here's the best I could come up with: I believe there are two kinds of people in this world. There are the people, like Sara, that some how seem to disconnect emotion and sex. They want multiple partners and don't see any problem with that. Then, there are people (like me) who attach an emotional bond to the person they're sleeping with and couldn't imagine being with anyone else. Now, I'm not talking about casual dating or casual sex. I get that. I'm talking about a 6 month relationship, with what could be your soul mate, and all you can think about is sleeping with someone else. My advice: you should probably come clean and have 'the talk' about how you feel sooner rather than later. I would be willing to bet he ends it. In fact, if he's smart, he will end it. Then again, he could be like you and want multiple partners too and really could be your soul mate! Good luck.