There are jokes, and then there are jokes about Montana. Safe to say that when most people make up jokes about the big sky state, they aren’t usually kind. Often times it’s something that has to do with the locals having no teeth, no intelligence, and no one else to date but their family members. But still, like it or not, this is the humor that people have come up with about Montana (as found on the website http://www.jokes4us.com/
). So we can either get mad, or laugh along with them. We will let you decide. But don’t say you weren’t warned.
Q: What’s the most popular pick up line in Montana?
A: Nice tooth!
Q. Why do ducks fly over Montana upside down?
A. There’s nothing worth crapping on!
Q: Why couldn’t the baby Jesus be born in Montana?
A: Because they couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Q. How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Montana?
A. If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
Q: Why do folks from Montana go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
A: 17 and under are not admitted.
Q: Why did Montana raise the minimum drinking age to 25?
A: They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools!
Q: How can you tell if someone in Montana is married?
A: The tobacco spit stains are on both sides of his pickup truck.
Q: Why do Montana State grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Montana campus?
A: A visitor.
Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Montana library?
A: Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Montana’s football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet.
Q: What does the average Montana State student get on his SAT?
Q: How many University of Montana State freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it’s a sophomore course.
Q: If you have a car containing a Grizzlies wide receiver, a Grizzlies linebacker, and a Grizzlies defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: How do you castrate an Montana Grizzlies fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: Why do Montana students have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First!
Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the Montana Grizzlies campus?
A. An undergraduate degree.
Q: Why are rectal thermometers banned at the University of Montana?
A: They cause too much brain damage!
Q: What’s the difference between an Montana Grizzlies fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in Montana?
A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.
Q. How did the Montana Grizzly die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q: What is the definition of a Montana virgin?
A: An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers..
Q: What do they call students who go to Montana?
A: Rejects from Colorado!
Q: What do Montana and Utah students have in common?
A: They both got in to Montana
Q: What’s the difference between an Montana football player and a dollar?
A: You can get four quarters out of a dollar.
Q: Did you hear that Montana’s football team doesn’t have a website?
A: They can’t string three “Ws” together.
Q: How many Montana Grizzlies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
Q: What are the best four years of a Montana Grizzlies life?
A: Third grade
Q: What does a Montana native and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
Q. How do they separate the men from the boys in Montana?
A. With a restraining order.
Q: What did the Montana female say after sex?
A: Get off me Dad, you’re crushing my smokes!
Q: Why don’t girls play hide and seek in Montana?
A: No one would look for them.